Funny Stories

NO DOCTOR, NO WATER, NO PROBLEM

Dare I ask about your week? Can you rate it on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best? Hopefully, it fell somewhere between 5 and 10. Did you pass a difficult exam? Did you welcome a new grandchild into your family? Did you get a raise sooner than anticipated? Did an old friend surprise you with a visit? Some weeks rate a 1, 2 or 3 which is typical of the human experience. Did you have flat tire…

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A Nuisance by the name of Rascal the Relentless Raccoon

We have a house guest by the name of Rascal the Relentless Raccoon, Triple R for short. Actually, he is no longer a guest, but a nuisance, a BIG nuisance. He has overstayed his welcome and has been ordered evicted, but he is a stubborn sort and refuses to cooperate. Why couldn’t Triple R be a mouse, a bat, a rat, a porcupine or a skunk? Traps take care of mice and rats, Glenn is a pro at catching bats, we can shoo the…

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An Adventure Whilst House Sitting for Artist-Author, Tomi Ungerer

Mom, Dad, Francis and I had moved into the Nova Scotia home of artist and writer, Tomi Ungerer, and his wife, Yvonne, to care for their property and animals while they spent a few months in Switzerland. We stayed there from January to April. We referred to the location as “down on the island.” Surrounded by beaches, the road to the island was inaccessible during unusually high tides and stormy weather. An old Land Rover ferried us in and out.…

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This Year’s Friday the Thirteenth

Why am I writing about Friday the thirteenth on Friday the twenty-seventh? The answer is simple. You see in MELDALAND, Friday the thirteenth skipped a week and paid a visit on Friday the twentieth. Just wait until I reveal some of the things that happened. WHAT RED LIGHT? I left home to pick up some printing and office supplies at Staples in Lindsay. Toodling along Kent Street, listening to CNN, I saw a red light ahead, but it was the wrong red light. Huh? I looked…

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A CLASSIC CASE OF BUYER’S REMORSE

Have you ever looked around your house and wondered why you spent good money on certain gadgets and small appliances? I have concluded that many purchases of the “greatest-gadgets-of-all-time” ilk are nothing more than a waste of hard-earned money. Who loves homemade bread, but doesn’t want to spend all day baking? Apparently, a significant number of people, including ME. A Japanese company, Matsushita Electric Industrial Company, which is now Panasonic, created the first bread maker that could make one loaf of…

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Dad Bought the Lawnmower, Mom Cut the Grass

The tiny Nova Scotia community of West Head should have “Rock” in its name. The spit of land is made of millions of rocks, from the tiniest pebbles to boulders, covered by a thin layer of acidic soil here and there. Like icebergs, rocks that peek through the surface could be be as big as a house.

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Glenn Clark Would Rather Eat Worms than Cut Grass

After a year of apartment living, Glenn and I moved into our first house in Peterborough, ON. The lot was small with a bit of lawn in the front, but the majority was behind the house. When the lawnmower left by the previous owner kicked the bucket, we trotted off to Canadian Tire. How hard could it be to choose a lawnmower? We discovered the choices are numerous. Walk Behind, Reel, Electric or Gas? After much deliberation, we left with our first…

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These New Eyes Make Everything Sparkle

Following Mom’s death, Dad moved his barn hobbies into the house. The multi-purpose kitchen table served as his new workbench. He covered the table with newspaper and set up his belt sander, saws, drills, screwdrivers, hammer, nails, glue, pliers, wrenches, hacksaw, level, tape measure, miter saw, and wood clamps that doubled as clothespins.

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Just Ask Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump

Are you old enough to remember party lines?  I sure am. Neighbours regularly accused each other of listening to their conversations. We thought making prank calls was the funniest thing of all. Anonymous calls were truly anonymous — no call display, no last number dialed, no list of callers.

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